Daily - 2025-12-14

Previously…

Yesterday recap

This is my 50th. daily note and will be the last for a while. I started writing these daily notes to help me get through my season of hibernation and push through some depression. I don’t think they are helping that any more. In fact, I think it is a net negative.

First with getting through my slow season.

During the 8 weeks or so during my “off season” I feel unmoored, lost, and without a purpose. Although I appreciate the time off, I find it hard to enjoy it. I need to have a guiding light. A distant marker on a map that I am constantly pursuing. Without it I feel adrift and useless.

To stay busy, I write these daily notes to come up with what I can do during the day and keep me on task. The problem is I still don’t have a goal. Instead, I’m creating random tasks that are often disconnected with no general purpose other than I needed to fill something in my todo list. Every morning I feel worse after creating my notes because I struggled to find something meaningful to do.

In this case meaningful is defined as either attached to some long term vision I want to accomplish, or a hobby. Hobbies are something I can do that helps me relax, relieve stress, or create some level of happiness. Nothing I’m putting in these daily notes is helping that.

Next onto my mental health.

For a long time I haven’t been good, which is pretty obvious when you read these dailies. I included in these notes daily gratitude to remind myself I have things to be thankful for or to be happy about. I do find things, but it is not helping. I also want to put something down that is “fun” to encourage me to make time for it or to recognize I do have fun. This also isn’t working. I see what I put down and I either don’t think it is fun or I never do it later in the day because I jsut don’t care.

So, this is the last daily note for a while (if not ever). It is simply not working and now I dread writing them.

Thank you to everyone we has read any of these and a special thank you to the folks that have reached out.

I still want to find ways to write more and I now that I’m in hibernation I’m sure there will be plenty of posts published. Just not dialy notes.

Gratitude

Thank you to everyone who has read these over the last few months.

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