Daily - Feb. 25, 2026

Previously…

Today’s recap

Up a little late, breakfast, and then got busy getting ready for the day. I needed to be ready to finish up this job and pick up an oven. So, I needed my mini trailer. Once I got everything loaded and tied down, headed out to the job.

We had a lot of checklist items to complete today before billing out. Install the actual sprinklers (this is always last because we need to flush the system before putting on the sprinklers and nozzles), wire up the valves, install the timer, wire up the timer, finish raking, move any dirt piles, install the nozzles and adjust, plus walkthrough with the homeowner. We were able to get all of that done and get our money. This job went well and is in a neighborhood I want to work in more. We had our signs up the whole job and gave out plenty of cards. Hopefully this leads to a busy spring in that area. We gave one estimate, too.

About midday we got more info about our dad. He is in psychosis due to alcohol withdrawl. Essentially, he spends 24/7 drunk and when that streak broke it sent his brain spiraling. He is incoherent and we are speaking with a social worker to see if we want to assume legal guardianship (since he cannot care for himself) or turn guardianship over to the state.

We did some quick research and in the last 5 years he has 3 more DUI’s. He has not been sober for more than 4 years. He drinks all day, everyday. For years before becoming estranged I found him incoherent and it was impossible to figure out what he was talking about. Some days were better than others. Now his brain is permanently mush. He can’t care for himself. He can’t communicate. He is belligerent and aggressive.

I’m not going to go into a description of what we are going to do and the pros/cons of each. Instead I want to speak directly to you about alcohol use.

Stop. Stop now, especially if you have children. It is not worth it. Everyone says they have a limit and know when to stop if things got really out of control. Ya, I’ve heard it for 40 years.

The only way to win is not to play.

No matter what your level of alcohol consumption is it is not worth the risks. Consuming alcohol is a selfish act. When your consumption of alcohol becomes a problem, whether a lifetime of use or a single night of partying, it is up to others to care for you and fix your problems. There is no responsible way to consume alcohol. Stop. Stop for yourself. Stop for your kids. Stop for your family and friends.

In movies they show dying from alcoholism like pulling a trigger. One day your dead. Its not that way. Its a long process that will destroy everyone else around that person. It destroys the body and mind. Your loved ones have to watch you destroy yourself for years.

Alcohol is selfish.

Did my dad think that one day all of his kids would hope he was dead? While drinking that beer did he hope that one day his care would be turned over to the state because his cognitive acuity would be so low he can’t even form a coherent sentence? Nope. He thought he could handle his booze. He was fine. Yes, sometimes he had a few too many. But, he was in control.

5 years ago I had a funeral for him. I buried him. I said goodbye and let the man that raised me pass on. I did this because I knew what was coming. I knew where he was going and what he would turn into. So, I sat one day and had a funeral in my head for him. I pictured the casket and the service. I thought through what I would say to his family. I said what I would say just to him before he was placed in the ground. He is dead to me.

I have two good memories of him. When I was little, maybe 3 or 4, he would take me to a local airport. At the time there was a single commercial flight of a Boeing 707 that would take off from this tiny airport. He would drive and park nearby and we’d watch the plane takeoff one day a week. It was at my mother’s insistence he do it because he never spent any time with me. The other is when I was about 10 and we would play catch every weekend. I’d run football routes and he’d throw the ball. I was sports obsessed and so was he.

Everything else is awful and the abuse he has inflicted on me, my siblings, and my mother, is unforgivable. Those thoughts consume me every day and I wish I can make them go away. I hope with his actual passing I can finally be released.

In high school I a big time athlete. I was captain of both the football and wrestling teams. I don’t think he ever came to any of my games. He would stay home and drink. He got so drunk at my wedding we had to force him out. We only served one bottle of wine per table to try to keep people from getting drunk. He went down to the bar in the hotel and helped himself. He doesn’t know any of my kids birthdays. He can’t even remember 3 of my 4 kids names. He has never been their grandpa, even though I always allowed him to try.

He’s the most selfish man I’ve ever known and I hate him for making me care about him. I hate him for hurting my brother this way. I hate him for how he’s treated my sister. I hate how he treated my mother. I hate the man that he is. I hate that how awful he has been is what has morphed me into the man that I am. I hate that I had to turn my back on him. I hate that he made me shed these tears.

I hate. I hate. I hate.

But, he’s my dad. He’s the only dad I ever had.

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