Turning off my instance and going on a social media hiatus

One of the most common complaints my wife hears from me (which I have many about the world) is I wish the world would slow down. With everything I have going on, I am putting my GoToSocial instance on hiatus. Rather than using social media, I will continue to read my RSS feeds and connect with folks via email or Signal.

• ✉️ Email me at blog.discourse904@8alias.com.
• 💬 Chat on Signal at cinimodev.33

What I am desperate for is for the world to slow down. I am constantly overwhelmed with everything that is happening.

Every day is a lot. In particular, April has been extraordinarily busy. My contracting business has me leaving early and working late nearly every day. At home, my son is graduating high school and my youngest is graduating kindergarten. Every weekend is packed with tasks, chores, and activities.

All of this is on top of the relentless news cycle that is an endless deluge of awfulness. Then, everyone on social feeds piles onto the news, compounding the stress of the news.

Needless to say, my stress levels have been high.

Yet, I always seem to find time to read my Mastodon feed. In fact, I spend entirely too much time scrolling it and I feel like it is taking me away from the things I want to do.

I just don’t have the capacity to absorb other people’s stress, too. To be honest, the problem isn’t the news. The problem is I absorb others stress even hearing about it. Getting on social media means seeing everyone’s drama. I feel it. I absorb it and have trouble releasing it, even though I am in no way involved.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot and these are the things I want:

• I want to spend significantly less time on my phone. I don’t want my kids seeing me glued to it all the time.
• I want to work on other projects around the house and in the garden.
• I want to blog more. I did in the winter and have gotten out of the habit as my life has picked up speed.
• I want to be happier. I see what is happening in the world and I get angry or frustrated or disappointed. I want to spend more time being happy.
• I want to stop feeling so overwhelmed all the time.
• I want to spend more time with friends. It doesn’t have to be in person, it can be through chats. I want it to be personal, though.
• I want to spend more time on tech projects at home. Because I’m leaving social media doesn’t mean I’m anti-tech.

Most importantly, I want the world to slow down. I know I can’t slow down the whole world. But, I can slow down my world.

I’m not saying using social media is preventing me from doing these things. However, eliminating my social media use is part of the list of ways I am re-evaluating how I spend my time. I am looking to make changes to several aspects of my life. Reducing or eliminating social media is one part of that.

Additionally, Mastodon is my only social media. I do not use Facebook or Instagram. I deleted my Twitter and LinkedIn profiles. I have never once used TikTok. So, reducing my social media use is easy. I only have one to eliminate.

My decision

I help me accomplish these wants, I am going to put my personal Mastodon (GoToSocial) instance on hiatus beginning this Sunday, May 4. On June 1 I will re-evaluate and see if I want to take another month off or not.

What does that mean? I’m going to stop the VM.

I know I can’t stop myself from checking it by simply removing an app on my phone. I need to turn my whole instance off so it is technically hard to re-engage.

This is one of the best features of self-hosting an instance. I can do more than just log off. I can literally turn my instance off.

However, I’m not “going dark”. Keeping tabs on the world is still important to me. I’m just not going to use any social media for the month of May and take it month by month.

Q&A

How will you follow the news?

I have never used social media for news, let alone for current event opinions and hot takes. In fact, it is a detriment to using social media. I prefer to get my news from reputable news sources, never from social media, newsletters, or YouTube.

I have a huge RSS feed that helps me keep up-to-date with what is happening in the world from sources I prefer. Leaving social media doesn’t mean I’m anti-news. Being current and active in the news is still important to me.

What about breaking news?

I want the world to slow down, therefore I am anti-breaking news. Seeing it tomorrow in my feeds will be just fine.

What about pop culture?

Listen, I’m in my early to mid-40’s. I don’t give a shit about what’s trending or what is going viral. That stuff is for young people.

I also don’t care about others opinions about movies, TV, music, or books. In general, I see something I might like and I consume it and make my own opinion. I don’t need to see anyone’s lists and I never search for “Best blank“ before picking something.

Yet, everyone on social media has a lot of opinions about these things. I just can’t be bothered.

What about discovery?

I follow hundreds of bloggers and curators in my RSS feeds. There will be more than enough discovery in those feeds. I doubt I will have any FOMO.

What about making connections?

Okay, this one is hard. I have made some amazing connections on Mastodon, including several people I consider good friends. This is something I can’t replace stepping away from social media. I am hoping reading more blogs and contacting those people directly will help fill that void.

I am also going to add Mastodon RSS feeds from certain folks into my feed reader. Then, I can keep tabs on my friends and I can try to reach out to them directly.

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